the fall-out, or more specifically, the lack thereof

i spend a significant amount of time tonight trying to figure out how to follow up my previous post with some context. commentary on how i felt when i clicked over to the 'Google Mail - Inbox(1) - hoppsterblog@gmail.com' tab, expecting to find a compelling offer from AirTran Airways Net Escapes or Overstock.com, and finding that e-mail staring back.

but as hard as i've try to produce an emotion. i got none.

i'm all out.

i had thought of that moment, in passing sometimes. but never really expected it to happen. afterall, i put the full-stop on that relationship with 'please don't call or e-mail me anymore'. i never truly expected that would be interpreted as, 'e-mail me in 2 months on valentine's day, please.'

not that the particular e-mail in question was weighted with any emotion from which to conjure a response. i've crafted more thoughtful e-mails to get an appointment with my gynecologist.

i thought there would've been something. shortness of breath. tears welling behind my eyes. nausea. vomiting.

i could barely muster a pained look on my face.

even phone calls to my friends, trying to pull emotion out of them since my own reaction was seriously failing to live up to my expectations, left me feeling flat.

i was even bored by Hannah's suggestion to threaten a restraining order. clearly that isn't warranted in this situation, but i couldn't even get mad enough to want to.

i have literally nothing to say.

and i've never been so happy to be speechless in my life.

e-mail: archived.

the end.