livers may come and go, but true friends never completely give up on you

for some reason, or other, i am having a really hard time having a sense of humor in the new year.

i am already failing new years resolution #24: no scowling

maybe it's because i totally missed the '5...4...3...2...1....happy new year!' part of the evening. how do you miss such a thing at a huge nye bash with 400 of your closest strangers? i have no idea. best guess: i was in the porta potty (would also explain why my shoes look the way they do...further description not required, all i can say is, even burning them is not a sanitary enough way to dispose of them).

missing the ball drop has really thrown me off. although it was fun sitting around the next day with 6 of my bffs pondering the options, it sorta delayed that whole 'i am going to be a completely different and better and different person when the clock strikes midnight' thing. by delayed i mean, permanently postponed.

new years resolution #2: keep a (any) resolution i make this year

but i have been seriously distracted since 01/01/09.

actually, i woke up day two in a severe depression. i pinpointed it to two reasons. 1) i woke up to the sweet sounds of my best friend packing her bags to drive back home and abandon me for th rest of the year. 2) i was supposed to go into work that day and get a jazillion things done so that i would be for-real organized for the shitstorm awaiting me. i was so depressed, in fact, that i could barely drag my hungover ass out of bed and drive myself to my therapist's office. in fact, the thought of going to the therapist made me cry. i just wanted to lay in bed and miss Laura, instead of facing the new year.

i was pulled out of my funk only after spending an hour at The Therapist's office doing the usual: making everyone else the bad guy, and having her agree with me/feel bad for me/not contribute anything valuable to my opinions on things except to tell me that i should go to the movies more often and find an extracurricular activity. not that i don't agree with her on the extracurricular activity thing, but that doesn't help the fact that my mom is missing the 'mother gene' and that our relationship works best when i mother her, rather than the other way around, hence why i give more than take in relationships.

new years resolution #9: join an extracurricular activity

i also spent 45 minutes at the office. sending one e-mail. deciding i could do all the other things i needed to do another day (that day being saturday, or sunday...yeah. right.)

the four remaining friends in town called to remind me, 'dude, you're a loser, lets go eat more, because we haven't done that enough in the past 4 days, and misery or not, you are definitely hungry.'

even if they didn't really say that, and they really just said 'biatch, meet us at the biscuit in 20,' it had the same effect.

rut = delayed, for the moment

belly = full

new years resolution #5: eat less food that makes me feel 'ugh' afterwards, and also contributes to the worldwide cellulite epidemic

the point is. i have really good friends.

with 6 of my besties in town for new years, 5 of whom had to travel either by car or plane for more than a single hour to find me, i could not have been happier. i could also not have been more hungover. or had more sore ab muscles, solely from laughing.

this is the first time in as long as i can remember that i didn't let a boy interfere with my enjoyment of the precious time i have with my friends. i wasn't going back and forth. or checking my phone incessantly for missed calls. or trying to teach a foreigner our native language, because seriously, my friends and i speak in a series of inside jokes, re-defined words, clicks and whistles. trying to acclimate any stranger into our atmosphere is a challenge, at best, only the strongest survive, i haven't found a strong man yet, i guess. let alone, straight up blowing my friends off for a boy (yes, i admit it, i tend to suck as a friend when i'm in a relationship).

i have never in my life had this many friends. that also happen to be girls.

new years resolution #1: be a good friend to the friends that are good to me

by the end of the weekend i had:

1. kissed 3 (or 4) of my closest guy friends, and then promptly failed to remember any of them
2. most likely spent midnight nye in a porta potty (i know i already mentioned this one, but its still funny, right)
3. drank enough alcohol to meet the dsm criteria for 'alcoholic'
   
4. found out that a kid we went to college with had a kid...in college (got that?, don't worry, i'll tell you that story, another day)
5. given a striptease to a complete stranger, completely (or almost completely) sober
6. a bruise the size of the top of my right foot, on the top of my right foot
7. a bruise the size, shape and color of a rotten grapefruit on my outer upper right thigh
   
8. a broken back
9. a liver functioning on 'low'
10. swore never to drink again (for the rest of the month...i mean week...till wednesday)
11. 6 best friends, that were more bester, than ever. (i know i keep harping on this in an uncharacteristically cheesy way...but not admitting that you need and want and love and cherish your best girl friends is so 2008)