harry potter and the chamber of full-blood princesses, part un

my 14 year old sister is a) the light of my life b) reading shakespeare in her 9th grade english class.

as she was complaining to me over instant messenger, i was reminded of when my dad used to read the plays (macbeth, hamlet, much ado), assigned reading for my 9th grade class, aloud in the living room while i lay on the couch staring at the ceiling, struggling to pay attention on the words he was reciting, and not one or the other of the boys i was hopelessly crushing after.

but this only happened on tuesdays. tuesdays and every-other weekends were the joint parts of our custody arrangement.


that is a memory i don't want to forget. i'll keep it here, for now.

my sister is so lucky to have that man, full time. she probably won't realize it, so i will realize it for her.

...

so you may have noticed that there is a character that i made an embarrassingly big deal out of earlier in the life of this blog that has been absent of late. or more specifically, immediately following the really big deal was made.

(even going back to that post to link it made me cringe)

you know him as BFWII. i know him as Harry Potter - HP for short.

where did this new pseudonym come from, you ask? its simple really. so simple, in fact, that it will take me half this story to explain. but you will forgive, and follow along patiently, as always.

so, BFWI became a prominent subject of gchats between Hannah and I the past few months, but inconveniently, Hannah and BFWI share a cube, which means the likelihood him peering his beady eyes over her shoulder are high to incredibly likely. this made using his given name, well, not a good idea.

we tried on some other handles. he was Sweater for awhile. and Neighbor. and That Kid You Share A Cube With That Smells Like A Homeless Person. but none of them seemed to fit. until one did.

Voldemort. yes, as in Lord Voldemort, of the Harry Potter trillionogy*. the most fitting seeing as he is mastermind manipulative, has a scary rapist face, and could easily be referred to as 'the most powerful Dark wizard who has ever lived' (and i quote, thanks wikipedia-dot-org). long story short, we don't like him, much.


Volde for short.

so of course, since Volde and BFWII are s-mates and when you talk about one, you likely talk about the other. and since BFWII is just across the aisle there are also decent odds that he may walk by and see his name flashing on her screen. oh, and since i made out with him one night - you may or may not remember - he needed a codename as well.

since BFWII is gentler type of guy, a good wizard, i guess you could say, and has a scar that burns when evil is afoot, and a magic wand (or so i hear. ohh snap!), and is very agile in the quidditch pitch, Harry Potter seemed fitting. so for consistency's sake, and because these analogys are much more fitting/descriptive/etc. than "Boy From Work", i will use their new code names a la J.K. Rowling, if that is her real name.

since then more a few more characters have been added, who you will soon meet.

like, right now.

there is Ron Weasley, the nerdy, skiddish best friend and new roommate that HP just moved in with, and once tried to set me up with. he really doesn't have a place in this story since i've only met him in person twice, but HP tried to set me up with him once and i said i'd have to think about it because if memory served me right, he was too short. funny enough, he is taller than me. he's just one of those guys that will always be short in your memory.

and then there's Hermione. the forgettable, know-it-all, social climber lacking in witt and charm or any sort of desirable disposition that hangs on to Harry's coattails for dear life through all 7 books. yeah, sure, she is second-handedly instrumental in Harry's success at slaying dragons, etc., but the point is, as far as wizards go, she is by the book. (literally?).

in this story, since i can't speak for the books, remember i didn't read any of them (or see the movies), she also gets the guy...or does she....

so now that i've developed the characters. i'll tell you what really happened.

...in part deux.

later hater.

*note: i have never read more than the first 3 pages of a harry potter novel, nor have i seen more than a commercial break worth of any of the movies, so all my analogies are losely based on plot synopses from David Letterman interviews with the actors, and Inside the Actor's Studio with Daniel Radcliffe (who, by the way, totally wins, not because of his performance in that unfortunate 6-peat, but because his favorite curse word is 'bollocks'). forgive me. or admire me for all the time saved. either way.