Attention Seeking Glutton For Punishment (lease to own option)

in a moment of weakness/insanity/drug induced coma/all of the above, i accepted Muscle Man's offer for boot camp. in an effort to make up for breaking the bond of silence, i instead made my message short and to the point, the following exchange ensued:

me: that'd be awesome if you could
him: you not work yesterday? (in reference to me not responding to his e-mails - no way i could've been blantantly ignoring him, i do have a blackberry, you know)
him: i'll see what i can do!
me: thanks
him: your being so short
me: yeah...
him: your so short!
me: i'm 5'8", and a half, on a good day, in flats
him: later

now here's where it gets a little bit messy - in an even weaker moment of weakness

me: i'm mad.

see. messy.

him: why. dont be.
me (internal monologue): oh ok, now i'm not mad, all i have been waiting for the past week and a half is for you to just say 'don't be mad' so that i can get over it. who cares that you have no idea why i'm mad and probably will never think you did anything wrong, ever.

an extended exchange continued from there to make a string of 30 email total back and forth which consisted of me telling him he can neither say 'dont be' or 'im sorry' when you have no idea why i am angry, and him ending the conversation with the folloing poignant and highly-revelvant statement:

him: p.s. halloween, me a speedo, 8 gold medals, flip flops, a swimming cap and goggles. its gunna be nutz.

thanks, sir, for letting me know. i have been super curious. and all.

i attempted a few drafts of responses, but none were quite sufficient to get across my thoughts on this, which are: 1. you and every other man between the ages of 16 and 56, 2. if you're going as michael phelps, i'm going as amanda beard (click here if you don't get the reference) 3. be more original 4. i don't care right now what you're going as for halloween, because, oh yeah, i'm mad and {shamefully} 5. oh no! so many girls are going to see how nice and muscley and totally open to anonymous thumb wrestling he is *jealousy pang*

so in a word, that whole dialog was: pointless.

i now realize that the whole point of me responding at all is because i did want to make contact. i did want to tell him i was mad. i just wanted him to know. i think its important that he know that what he did in regards to me was not that cool, and he shouldn't just be able to get off with an awesome new friend (me) and never know that what he did was super hurtful and not ok.

but shockingly, i feel much better. he called me while i was at work demanding to know why i was mad at him and i calmy said "now is not a really good time to discuss that, please call me at another time" and hung up.

i still don't really feel compelled to tell him why i am mad. i can still hear all of his come backs and am already bored, but him just knowing that i'm mad seems to be enough to make me feel like i got some power back over the situation. now he's gets to go around and around in his head wondering what he possibly could've done to make me angry (ummmm...everything). so i'm feeling good. glad to have the ball back in my court. for now.

through this situation i have certainly learned that his level of emotional awareness is mediocre to sub-par. which is a really unattractive quality in a mate. good thing i got out when i could (right?)

...

i also think a boy from work booty called me last night...more on that to come...most likely

office party tonight - beer and booze abound