24 is serious

i am a big fan of birthdays.

let me revise that...i am a big fan of my birthday.

(i am actually chronically terrible at other people's birthdays, i normally forget until the last minute, and then under-deliver)

i begin making an inordinately sized deal about my birthday starting, at a minimum, a month prior to the day that marks my emergence from the womb. i start harassing my friends about what celebrations they are planning, my parents about what gifts they will shower me with, my current boyfriend about the romantic getaway they should be planning and casual acquaintances on why they should become better friends with me in the next 30 or so days so that they can be included in the festivities. i make sure everyone who knows me, or may know me in the future, is aware that april 10th is my day.

april 10th is also my good friend heather's day. when we became friends and i found this out, at first i thought it would royally suck. 'oh no!' i thought, 'she's going to steal my april 10th thunder!" i immediately resented her, decided i would sabotage her through slander and nip this one in the bud. unfortunately, i dig that girl's style and class and never brought myself to shun her as i originally intended. fortunately, she is not as big a fan of her birthday as she is of the fact that we share a birthday. so while i am too busy worrying about how impeccably executed the celebration will be, she thinks of things like illustrating personal birthday cards for me. turns out it is a very mutually beneficial relationship.

this is why i love heather:

heather: happy half birthday slore*
me: happy half birthday to you hooks-delite**
heather: i hope you do something in a fish RIP zone*** out of respect for 4/10

i had no idea that day had come. the big 2-3-.5.

it wasn't for her, october 10th would've flown by unassuming like any other friday in october. i would allow myself to get in to work late (at 9, instead of 8:34), read my latest google alerts, listen to my favorite radio morning show that, thank god, streams online, and carry on with my usual cycle of checking work gmail, personal gmail, work gchatting, personal gchatting, checking on my favorite blogs, doing a little bit of 'actual work' for a few seconds before starting the cycle over again for the rest of the day. maybe adding in a little face time with the boss, gossiping with the colleage across the hall, drinking tea, etc. (this is not just an 'any other friday' agenda, its actually an 'every day' agenda...blah)

instead, thanks to heather's friendly reminder, i get to make an inordinate deal about my half birthday. not just a big deal for it being a half birthday, but a bigger deal than necessary, even if it was a real birthday. which should make things much more interesting. especially since the colleage across the hall works from home on fridays, and my boss is golfing today.

so far i have:

• convinced the guys that go out to $10 all-you-can-eat sushi every friday to invite me along
• threatened the life of my best friend caroline if she doesn't plan a huge 23.5 celebration
• guilt tripped Muscle Man into singing me a happy half birthday song (twice) since on my actual birthday he refused to say happy birthday at all
  
• called my favorite, and most significant to-date, ex-bf (The Doctor) to inform him of the momentous occasion
  
• conned Boy From Work into getting drinks with me after work

at my calculations thats a 200% improvement over 'any other friday'. and the day is nowhere near over.

now all of that is well and good, until we go back to the "big 2-3-.5" part of the story.

begin internal dialog:

excuse me, what??? i am 23 and a HALF. that is way too close to 24. TWENY. FOUR. thats like, the end of the age of innocence, the end of 'oh, you're only 23? wow, i thought you were much older than that, i would've guessed 24', it is the end of getting away with mishcif and scandal because i am only 23.

the beginning of 'your 24? any children?...are you married?....are you engaged?....are you in a serious committed relationship?....are you in an unserious, non-commited relationship?.....are you having relations with someone, only while intoxicated, and only once or twice?....have you had relations?....ever?....do you have friends, at least?'

i am doomed.

end internal dialog.

24 is serious. at 24 you can't eff around like you used to at 23. people are always so surprised when i tell them i am only 23, and i like that. no one is going to be surprised by 24. no one is going to say i am so mature for my age anymore. and i'm not going to be the youngest one at the party/wedding/funeral/old-age home.

i am already so over 24. and its still 6 long (short) months away.

so maybe i'm jumping the gun on this old-age anxiety train just a bit. but still, you aren't really expected to have goals or life ambitions or have it all figured out at 23. but at 24 you are. at 24 you are supposed to be on a path to success. and 6 months doesn't really give me a long time to find a path, let alone get on it.

i have a job. i rent an apartment. i own and make payments on a hybrid car. that's about it.

i think its time to make a list of things i would like to be doing before i am 24.

here goes...

things i would like to be doing before i am 24

• playing tennis on a regular basis - ideally as a member of a league, un-ideally, with the same 2 friends i had before
  
• exercising on a regular basis
• taking or have taken an art class
• taking or have taken a creative writing class or joined a writers critique or group
  
• have investigated and developed a better understanding of how to begin a side-career as an editorial writer (if that is the official name of that sort of career)
• knitted something that is of use to myself or someone else (ie. an afghan, or a scarf, that i did not spend a lot of money for supplies on and then never finish, or realize when it was finished that it was henously ugly)
• gained a loyal blog following
  
• either not been in a relationship at all, or not been in a relationship that i new was bad for me from the beginning (its fine if i realized it later, not fine if i talked myself out of seeing it was bad the whole time)
  
• gained new business for my company (i can have professional aspirations as well)
• been promoted, or at least recognized for my outstanding achievements at work (or not fired for spending the majority of work hours on non-work-related activities)
• have guy friends that i don't want to sleep with, and who don't want to sleep with me, or at least who want to sleep with me, but will still be friends with me if i don't
• enjoy spending the majority of the weekend alone
  
• etc.
  

okay, now its in print, lets see how much i can live up to it.

*slore: a combination of two words that are synonyms to 'promiscuous female'
**hooks-delite: a delightful lady of the night
**fish RIP zone: the area surrounding the fish tank in our former living room - where the rate of fish survival was 0 out of 12, and also where a few explicit moments of bad judgment took place on an april 10th of years past